Most people, by the time they’re grown, have experienced at least one heart-break in their romantic life. You know: the gut-wrenching kind that leaves you scarred for life.
After being hurt so badly, it can be hard to think of moving on. Sometimes you may think you’ll never get over your lost love.
Image by Kiomi
While it may take time, once you think you’re ready then go ahead and get yourself back out there. Here are some handy tips to help:
1. Be brave
Just because you’ve been hurt before, doesn’t mean you should stop seeking relationships. You will need to let your guard down eventually. Love does hurt sometimes, but other times it’s amazing.
A great relationship will blend the both beautifully into one long journey—although, in a great relationship, the ups will far outweigh the downs.
2. Work out what you want
I believe you should learn something from every relationship and sit down and work out what you want from your next one. What will the relationship look like? What sort of qualities will your new romantic interest have?
Something amazing happens when we write goals down. The universe manifests to help us along and get our needs met. Just be careful that you don’t make your tick-boxes too specific. It’s not: “He must have blue eyes, blonde hair and be an architect.” Think more like: “Kind, family values, laughs a lot.”
Once you’ve written it down, put it away and forget about it. Chances are, you’ll find your list years later and realize it is a very accurate description of your new love!
3. Be your own person
When you do start dating again, don’t be one of those people who forgets about all their friends and gives everything up for their partner.
Keep your own hobbies, and try not to see them seven days a week. As exciting as falling in love may be, you don’t need to be attached at the hip.
If you are, you’re setting up patterns for failure later in your relationship—no one can maintain that level of contact with someone. And your friends won’t be happy, either, if you ditch them every time someone new comes along.
4. Have fun!
Take the opportunity to try new date ideas, push your comfort circles a little and explore new things. If you’re having a lot of fun on your dates, there will be barely any time to get nervous about it!
What tips can you add from your experiences moving on after heartbreak?
About Emma
Hi Emma,
This is a sensitive thing to deal with. Even though I have not experienced a heartbreak, I have blogged about how to get over with it coz I have seen many of my friends struggling through it
You have given solid advice here.
Cheers,
Jane.
Hi Emma,
I too have experienced the heart-ache of a break-up. One thing that I know for sure is that we eventually move on and get over it.
Emma,
Great post here. I always say it’s okay to have a broken heart, just don’t have a broken spirit. It’s true that “the best revenge is a good life.”
Work out what you want. I think this is one of the most important aspects of working through a break up. Also, it’s important to reflect, sometimes with professional help, on anything you may have contributed to the breakup. Are there aspects of yourself that you need to face and grow in? If you go to work on those, you will attract the right next person into your life.
Yes indeed, moving on and not dwelling too much on the feeling of hurt is the best way for overcoming the pain. There are always ways that one can divert this feeling of sadness while gaining positive outcome.
Nice post and it’s inspiring! Kudos!
I always recommend taking time assess your relationship history to see if there are any patterns occuring after a break-up. Many people tend to fall into the same unhealty patterns in their relationships over and over again. After the emotions have wore off from the break-up and when your thinking a little clearer, evaluate the past to make better decisions in the future.
Great advice!
After heartbreak, I have to go out and try something new. Just sitting at home, going through my same old routine just makes the pain even worse.
I look for new people to hang out with, go to places I’ve never been, and even write articles I’d never considered writing.
Thanks for the advice Emma.
four months have passed after break-up. and still now, i can’t totally move on though we have new relationships. maybe this is the time to forget everything and to start new life. thanks EMMA.
i currently am going through a broken relationship. the lady i tot i loved very much and who loved me so so much, and have been with for 3 years just suddenly left me for some other guy. i tot it was kind of joke until 3 days ago when she was bold enough to paste the guy’s picture on her facebook page addressing him as MINE. i was supposed to go pay her parents a visit in december 2011, it was that same month that she broke this precious heart.
its so so difficult for me, deeper than i have ever imagined, i cant explain the heat and dept of the pain because i truelly loved her. i hope to get over this time and 1 day look back and realise it was all for my good.
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Same situation
I have the same problem. I wanted to die. The pain wouldn’t stop and I didn’t know what to do. I went to the doctor and he gave me something for the anxiety and I started seeing someone who really does care. Its been three months and I do feel better. Still hurts but much better. You are not second best. You have to force yourself to know that truth.
it realy hurts when you try to live with the fact that its no more, remember, what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, the best is yet to come around
hi every1,
i knew this gyal 4 years, we had such a laugh i liked her from the moment i see her, we were together 1 n half years, last 6 months it wasnt so great. i brought up her past becos it was stil ther he ex use to tx her n message her. i thot this was wrong. everythin tht went wrong in our relationship was to do with her past. i done everythin for this gyal, stuff tht people dnt do if ur together 10 years. i took her everywer, spent thousands on her. all i ever wanted was her love. however gay tht may sound. if there was such a thing as perfect it was her. i blame myself for us breaking up. but know its over i do think positive. im the most honest. trustworthy, loyal guy u could meet. somthing she always wanted. but seems no matter what i done for this gyal it would have never been enough.
we meet yesterday for closure. thts a great way to get over an ex. i needed to ask her stuff and find answers to whts happened. and to be honest. she was literally begging for us to be friends.
i cant be friends with some1 i think of as more. she was one in a million. and she knows i was hers. i deleted her number infront of her and walked away. when she realises after all her travels tht she could never replace me.
i hope she feels how i felt when she ended something real good.
This one will help…thx to you guys.am goin through lots of hell. i feel like il never ever move on. I so love him much. would do anything just to be with him. have done things wich no women can ever think of doing to a man. yet he never saw all that. he never appreciated all what i gave him..BUT AM READY TO MOVE ON WITH MY LIFE. ONE THING AM CERTAIN IS I GAVE IT MY BEST.
reading related articles is good..i feel better realizing i am not alone feeling this way..
we’ve both waited for each other for 15 yrs (barely out of high school) until his mom decided she liked somebody else for him (family friend’s daughter). they didnt like each other though but u have got to give it to his mom for being way persistent on her goal.being d nice son that he is & never wanted to hurt any of his parents he gave in & so we split up & my almost perfect dream for an almost perfect future marriage thrown away just like that.
after several months the parents esp his dad saw some things that they dont like about her & so decided she may not be good for their son & thought they preferred me better (geez thanks)..but i couldnt have him back bec somehow he fell in love w/ her & fights his right to be w/ her..
i couldnt cry a single tear anymore im just drained but i still hurt everytime i hear stuff about how crazy he still is over her.
but i made up my mind. it’s not easy but i just cant waste my time & life crying over spilled milk..i will move on. hoping to find someone i will really be happy with in d future..God is good!
Im not alone same feelings it hurt like hell everytime i think of this guy i feel like im loosing my mind i want to call him or even see him.. life must goes on we need to learn from our past relationship. i love him so much but he never fight for me.. I hate my self for loving him!! and i know in time i can forgive for what his done to me!! I’ll try my very best to help myself to recover and to back my old me.. i miss my old me!!! Thanks for this steps and surely its helps alot.
I still do love him (with all of my heart)
We’ve been breaking and getting back together countless times
And I sometimes think that he is acting the way he does becouse that he knows for a fact that I love him. I want to escape from all this hurt, n I know that I can because I only have to put my mind to it. HERE IS TO NEW BEGININGS…..
It was barely a month since I broke up with my boyfriend. It was me who made the decision since he couldn’t verbalize to me that he doesn’t love me anymore. It was so painful because the burden to make the decision or to save our relationship was mine alone. After few days from our break up I have heard that he’s already dating with someone else. It crushed me into pieces and from there on, I learned that the real reason why he doesn’t love anymore was he already loved another woman. It was painful. I felt rejected and abandoned. But I thought to myself that this is a reality that I need to accept. I need to move on even though it’s difficult. I should not let this get the best of me. Right now, I am still hurting and struggling how to survive my day..but I am positive that this will come to an end.
ive been with my fiance for almost 9 years now, we have a home together a child together everything we own we got together. just recently i told him something that happend in my past while we were together and the only reason why i told him is i couldnt live with the burden anymore. weve always been a tight open honest couple and i guess thats why i had to tell him for us as a couple to move on, as we were hitting a brick wall for the past 8 months. we not together anymore and im completely destroyed i feel lost like my sould has died in a matter of a few minutes. i cant sleep and when i do i wake myself with tears. thoughts like last year was the last christmas spend together and my last birthday was with him and that makes me think thoughts i dont want to be thinking because i have a baby girl. the memories becomes so clear and i ermember everything the love trust moments why couldnt i think of it when i made my mistake. i know that evryone makes mistakes but ive made so many over and over i cant expect him to forgive me now even thought it was many years ago. i can live without him but i just dont want to he is all i know and im all he knows. i wish from the bottom of my heart that he moves on no matter how hurt im in i feel like dying right now he is so sweet caring and everything a woman wants
please help me to be strong enough to let him go because i dont know how to pick up my broken soul
I tried a different route. My girlfriend cheated on me. I was hurt sure. I then decided to ignore it and had that chat. The woman had cheated on me several times and I realised that she was no good. I dated all my ex girlfriends and shagged them all. I felt good enough to move on. A warm body makes moving on easy. The satisfaction was mine and the lesson is to get back in control. Not nice but it does work.
Hi guys, Upon reading ol da hurting stories bout your luv stories. Actually i’ve experience da same way but for me da one dat i truelly luv betrays me 4 olmost 2yrs we’ve been 2gether although i tot dat ol da gud things he shown me is 4 real but 4 jst a single moment i discovered dat his already inluv w/ da othr girl snce been commited 2 each othr den der was a tym i told 2 myself dat i wll spend da rest of my lyf 2 ds guy bcoz of being too much inluv to him. .but w/out a sudden he jst left me! hw miserable my lyf wen i knew dat. dat’s y till now i’m trying 2 4get him bcoz i know dat his already happy w/ his new lyf hving a family. .i wish dat sumday sumOne wll treasure n love me 4 real jst da way i do.
we have a d same situation, all im asking now to God is to give me a strength so that i can face all the pain that my ex bf had left me.=(
this is really what i am experiencing at this time.I am a girl and the girl that i love who happens to be my roomate. It really hurts me everytime i see her talking with someone else on the phone. Right now i really dont know what to so or if i could follow these advices given here..
I been going through pretty stressful break up lately. I am not the first or will be the last. I been with my ex for nearly 6 yrs and during that time we had a long break but got back together. when she ended it i was totally shock. I accepted it as best i can. It took me awhile to talk about it to friends because i though i could deal with it on my own. Once i spoke to them things started to work out for the better. I have taken the more mature road and tried to move on. I have cut contact and just trying get my life back on track. Unfortunitly she doesn’t see it this way and has tried her utmost to some how keep me in her life. Its been nearly 4months and she is still trying to force herself back into my life in some way. I am lucky i travel alot but some how and some way she just finds away to get hold of me. She thinks i am doing all of this to harm her. But i totally agree with the advice and time heals all.
dear all !
I am dying inside! I can get over my ex boyfriend. It’s has been 2 years ago, still haven’t moved forward, can somebody please help me !
Hi just read your post know it was few months ago just wondering how your doing now
how can i moved forward immediately if i can feel the pain in my heart and i can always remember the painful thing he did to me?i really want to move on because it really affects my studies and i dont want that this heartbreak can ruin my studies and my life, i love him so much, but theres no chance that i can have him again because he already have a baby with his ex gf before and he choose to be with his baby. and i understand him thats why i really want to move on.
please help me..=(
Brothers and sisters in pain. I want you to listen to whitney houston perform at the 29th emmy awards. The greatest love of all. It truly helped me.
Sorry 29th grammy awards
The guy my ex girlfriend left me for dropped her for someone he works with! Your spell works fast! Of course she called me but I want nothing to do with her. I love knowing I had everything to do with this, [email protected] is the best spell caster in the world.
Hi Emma! I had a relationship with 4 years but it seems harder to forget the past especially when that person mean a lot to you.
Now that I am in a relationship again still I have a feelings when I saw him on facebook.
going through a heartbreak can be disturbing, i am going through one ryt now. the lady who broke my heart is the same lady who broke my heart early last year. after a three months months break we reunited. but this time around the heartbreak is too painfull coz i was alredy making plans of marrying her and spending the whole life with her. so i am finding it hard to get over her and move on. i have cut all contact with her but sometimes she texts me ofteny it it just worsens things. i want her out of my system. i want to gain the confidence again and move on.
same here i just broke my heart today, i thought he was the one but i was wrong : after 3 yrs of being together i just realized that we’re not on the same page, so sad to know that he’s not that into me.I tried to confront him but he keeps beating around the bush leaving me hanging w/the questions that keeps popping up in my mind these past days. He said he could not give his answer until Tuesday but for me, i guess that was it. I’m moving on w/my life this may be hard but i know i can get by.
I have been married for almost 20 years…this April 2 nd. September my wife told me she wants a divorce. Almost 4months later and I’m no better off! The thought of this is unbelievable. Can’t eat, used to weigh 180 now 160. Can’t sleep but for a few hours a night. It’s not going away and I feel as if this situation has changed me forever. The worst part is my three beautiful children ages 11 16 and 19 who all live with us. What will this do to them? What happened to all the decent people in the world? I fear the outcome of my demise is soon upon me. Tried seeking counciling but no help there. Life is cruel and unjust in my eyes.
How are you now?
I too have been married for 22 years, together with my husband for 24, and 4 and a half months ago he left me, with the excuse of “I love you but I am no longer in love with you” so that meant he didn’t want to stay married to me any longer. Now he is dating a women 20 years younger. I feel rejected, replaced and humiliated. The pain is so intense, and I feel so lost and alone. I have two kids and trying to keep a happy face in front of them is really hard. He maybe see’s them once a week for an hour. Everyone keeps telling me it will get better, but I can’t imagine feeling again. I am on anxiety meds, and have lost 35 pounds, I still cry at least two or three times a day. Everyone keeps telling me I have to get angry, but for some reason I don’t know why I can’t yet. Yes I still love him, but I have not asked him to come back, because I don’t want someone who doesn’t want or love me. This is the hardest thing I have ever gone through!!!! So I feel your pain Rich Pisz, but I have to believe it can only get better, that’s the only way I am getting by.
You wrote this a few months ago, I am just wondering how you are doing now?
i was in love wd my bst friend.after 9 months of friendship he proposed me for marraige.it was long distance relationship.after 3 months he started ignoring me.he said his parents donot agree for our marraige so we brokeup and decided to stay friends.but ds was his plan he created such situation for breakup.cz rite after breakup he was nt da person i knew before.he insulted me hurted me.i kept asking him y is he doing ds.den he told me he is in love wd someone else.he treated me sooo badly.insulted me ..its been 6 months now im nt in contact wd him bt im not over him yet.i cry at night wn im alone.i dun hv anyone to whom i can share.i feel i will never ever fall in love or if i do fall in love which i want to…i will never forget ds pain and his harsh words which are written on my heart.he did bad to me bt i still cant hate him.i can live wdout him as im alrdy living bt he is on my mind 24*7..help me i want to be happy again.i cant sleep in peace i just keep crying all da time.
it might not be so easy to move on with normal life but what is important is to be brave and try as much as possible to associate with the dear ones so as to keep your company.
HELLO TO YOU ALL OUT THERE,
My name is Janifer am from USA i never believe that my EX will ever come back to me after all that happens,well all thanks to DOCTOR SAKURA,i married to one MR Williams we got married at our early age of 20 we love our selves dearly,but after 30 years of our marriage my husband change and turn into some thing else it look like i married to a stranger,i was confuse so i don’t know what to do my children was aware of what is going on between both of us,they talk to there father and still yet he continued i later found out that my husband is seeing some one else i found out who this person is i discover she was just a little girl that is up to be my daughter’s age mate,she followed my husband just because of money and she was far younger than me could you believe my husband said to my face that am too old for him he need some one younger in his life that he needs a divorce he said to me is all over that he have nothing to do with me any longer,but i don’t know what to do i still love him some much not only for the love i have for him but for the children sake,how can some one from no were come into my house to ripe were she did not sold,i surf erred with my husband to get every thing we got today i came to think about it and i said to my self no i can’t let go just like that,i have always hard of a spell caster he have helped meaning of my friend to get there love once back and help then in different area were they are having problems,so i contacted him online and i share my problems with him he helped me out and my husband later come back to me with love and care just as before,once again thanks to DOCTOR SAKURA if you need his help contact him with this email: [email protected] he can help you to solve any of your problems okay.
Hello, my name is Mary, I’m from Canada. I want to inform you all, that there is a spell caster that is genuine and real. I never really believed in any of these things but when I was losing David, I needed help and somewhere to turn badly. I came across odsun spell temple and i ordered a LOVE SPELL. Several days later, my phone rang. David was his old self again and wanted to come back to me! Not only come back, the spell caster opened him up to how much I loved and needed him. Spell Casting isn’t brainwashing, but they opened his eyes to how much we have to share together. I recommend anyone who is in my old situation to try it. It will bring you wonderful surprises as well as your lover back to you. The way things were meant to be you can contact the spell caster on [email protected] he’s very nice and great.