Most people, by the time they’re grown, have experienced at least one heart-break in their romantic life. You know: the gut-wrenching kind that leaves you scarred for life.
After being hurt so badly, it can be hard to think of moving on. Sometimes you may think you’ll never get over your lost love.
Image by Kiomi
While it may take time, once you think you’re ready then go ahead and get yourself back out there. Here are some handy tips to help:
1. Be brave
Just because you’ve been hurt before, doesn’t mean you should stop seeking relationships. You will need to let your guard down eventually. Love does hurt sometimes, but other times it’s amazing.
A great relationship will blend the both beautifully into one long journey—although, in a great relationship, the ups will far outweigh the downs.
2. Work out what you want
I believe you should learn something from every relationship and sit down and work out what you want from your next one. What will the relationship look like? What sort of qualities will your new romantic interest have?
Something amazing happens when we write goals down. The universe manifests to help us along and get our needs met. Just be careful that you don’t make your tick-boxes too specific. It’s not: “He must have blue eyes, blonde hair and be an architect.” Think more like: “Kind, family values, laughs a lot.”
Once you’ve written it down, put it away and forget about it. Chances are, you’ll find your list years later and realize it is a very accurate description of your new love!
3. Be your own person
When you do start dating again, don’t be one of those people who forgets about all their friends and gives everything up for their partner.
Keep your own hobbies, and try not to see them seven days a week. As exciting as falling in love may be, you don’t need to be attached at the hip.
If you are, you’re setting up patterns for failure later in your relationship—no one can maintain that level of contact with someone. And your friends won’t be happy, either, if you ditch them every time someone new comes along.
4. Have fun!
Take the opportunity to try new date ideas, push your comfort circles a little and explore new things. If you’re having a lot of fun on your dates, there will be barely any time to get nervous about it!
What tips can you add from your experiences moving on after heartbreak?
About Emma
Hi Emma,
This is a sensitive thing to deal with. Even though I have not experienced a heartbreak, I have blogged about how to get over with it coz I have seen many of my friends struggling through it
You have given solid advice here.
Cheers,
Jane.
Hi Emma,
I too have experienced the heart-ache of a break-up. One thing that I know for sure is that we eventually move on and get over it.
Emma,
Great post here. I always say it’s okay to have a broken heart, just don’t have a broken spirit. It’s true that “the best revenge is a good life.”
Work out what you want. I think this is one of the most important aspects of working through a break up. Also, it’s important to reflect, sometimes with professional help, on anything you may have contributed to the breakup. Are there aspects of yourself that you need to face and grow in? If you go to work on those, you will attract the right next person into your life.
Yes indeed, moving on and not dwelling too much on the feeling of hurt is the best way for overcoming the pain. There are always ways that one can divert this feeling of sadness while gaining positive outcome.
Nice post and it’s inspiring! Kudos!
I always recommend taking time assess your relationship history to see if there are any patterns occuring after a break-up. Many people tend to fall into the same unhealty patterns in their relationships over and over again. After the emotions have wore off from the break-up and when your thinking a little clearer, evaluate the past to make better decisions in the future.
Great advice!
After heartbreak, I have to go out and try something new. Just sitting at home, going through my same old routine just makes the pain even worse.
I look for new people to hang out with, go to places I’ve never been, and even write articles I’d never considered writing.
Thanks for the advice Emma.
four months have passed after break-up. and still now, i can’t totally move on though we have new relationships. maybe this is the time to forget everything and to start new life. thanks EMMA.
i currently am going through a broken relationship. the lady i tot i loved very much and who loved me so so much, and have been with for 3 years just suddenly left me for some other guy. i tot it was kind of joke until 3 days ago when she was bold enough to paste the guy’s picture on her facebook page addressing him as MINE. i was supposed to go pay her parents a visit in december 2011, it was that same month that she broke this precious heart.
its so so difficult for me, deeper than i have ever imagined, i cant explain the heat and dept of the pain because i truelly loved her. i hope to get over this time and 1 day look back and realise it was all for my good.
it realy hurts when you try to live with the fact that its no more, remember, what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, the best is yet to come around
hi every1,
i knew this gyal 4 years, we had such a laugh i liked her from the moment i see her, we were together 1 n half years, last 6 months it wasnt so great. i brought up her past becos it was stil ther he ex use to tx her n message her. i thot this was wrong. everythin tht went wrong in our relationship was to do with her past. i done everythin for this gyal, stuff tht people dnt do if ur together 10 years. i took her everywer, spent thousands on her. all i ever wanted was her love. however gay tht may sound. if there was such a thing as perfect it was her. i blame myself for us breaking up. but know its over i do think positive. im the most honest. trustworthy, loyal guy u could meet. somthing she always wanted. but seems no matter what i done for this gyal it would have never been enough.
we meet yesterday for closure. thts a great way to get over an ex. i needed to ask her stuff and find answers to whts happened. and to be honest. she was literally begging for us to be friends.
i cant be friends with some1 i think of as more. she was one in a million. and she knows i was hers. i deleted her number infront of her and walked away. when she realises after all her travels tht she could never replace me.
i hope she feels how i felt when she ended something real good.
This one will help…thx to you guys.am goin through lots of hell. i feel like il never ever move on. I so love him much. would do anything just to be with him. have done things wich no women can ever think of doing to a man. yet he never saw all that. he never appreciated all what i gave him..BUT AM READY TO MOVE ON WITH MY LIFE. ONE THING AM CERTAIN IS I GAVE IT MY BEST.
reading related articles is good..i feel better realizing i am not alone feeling this way..
we’ve both waited for each other for 15 yrs (barely out of high school) until his mom decided she liked somebody else for him (family friend’s daughter). they didnt like each other though but u have got to give it to his mom for being way persistent on her goal.being d nice son that he is & never wanted to hurt any of his parents he gave in & so we split up & my almost perfect dream for an almost perfect future marriage thrown away just like that.
after several months the parents esp his dad saw some things that they dont like about her & so decided she may not be good for their son & thought they preferred me better (geez thanks)..but i couldnt have him back bec somehow he fell in love w/ her & fights his right to be w/ her..
i couldnt cry a single tear anymore im just drained but i still hurt everytime i hear stuff about how crazy he still is over her.
but i made up my mind. it’s not easy but i just cant waste my time & life crying over spilled milk..i will move on. hoping to find someone i will really be happy with in d future..God is good!
Im not alone same feelings it hurt like hell everytime i think of this guy i feel like im loosing my mind i want to call him or even see him.. life must goes on we need to learn from our past relationship. i love him so much but he never fight for me.. I hate my self for loving him!! and i know in time i can forgive for what his done to me!! I’ll try my very best to help myself to recover and to back my old me.. i miss my old me!!! Thanks for this steps and surely its helps alot.
I still do love him (with all of my heart)
We’ve been breaking and getting back together countless times
And I sometimes think that he is acting the way he does becouse that he knows for a fact that I love him. I want to escape from all this hurt, n I know that I can because I only have to put my mind to it. HERE IS TO NEW BEGININGS…..
It was barely a month since I broke up with my boyfriend. It was me who made the decision since he couldn’t verbalize to me that he doesn’t love me anymore. It was so painful because the burden to make the decision or to save our relationship was mine alone. After few days from our break up I have heard that he’s already dating with someone else. It crushed me into pieces and from there on, I learned that the real reason why he doesn’t love anymore was he already loved another woman. It was painful. I felt rejected and abandoned. But I thought to myself that this is a reality that I need to accept. I need to move on even though it’s difficult. I should not let this get the best of me. Right now, I am still hurting and struggling how to survive my day..but I am positive that this will come to an end.
I tried a different route. My girlfriend cheated on me. I was hurt sure. I then decided to ignore it and had that chat. The woman had cheated on me several times and I realised that she was no good. I dated all my ex girlfriends and shagged them all. I felt good enough to move on. A warm body makes moving on easy. The satisfaction was mine and the lesson is to get back in control. Not nice but it does work.
Hi guys, Upon reading ol da hurting stories bout your luv stories. Actually i’ve experience da same way but for me da one dat i truelly luv betrays me 4 olmost 2yrs we’ve been 2gether although i tot dat ol da gud things he shown me is 4 real but 4 jst a single moment i discovered dat his already inluv w/ da othr girl snce been commited 2 each othr den der was a tym i told 2 myself dat i wll spend da rest of my lyf 2 ds guy bcoz of being too much inluv to him. .but w/out a sudden he jst left me! hw miserable my lyf wen i knew dat. dat’s y till now i’m trying 2 4get him bcoz i know dat his already happy w/ his new lyf hving a family. .i wish dat sumday sumOne wll treasure n love me 4 real jst da way i do.