Ten Ways to Get to Know Your Family Better

This post is by Eric Speir of www.ericspeir.com.

Have you ever noticed that the older you get the more time seems to fly? In fact, when you add children into the mix our time seems to spiral out of control. We are staying busier as families but one of the downsides to this is that we often lose quality time with our children. I’m reminded of a time of when I was in college when this thought was driven home into my life.

While in college I was required to take a class on marriage and family. To be honest, I can’t remember a word the professor said that semester except for one simple statement. He warned all of us, “If you don’t love on your children, then someone else will.” I’ve never forgotten that statement. It has stuck with me ever since.

As parents we need all the help that we can get. It’s easy to beat ourselves over the head because we cannot do more for our children. You cannot give your children everything so why not use what you have and quit living in regret? Living in regret does not accomplish much except for make us miserable and make us feel like failures as parents.

One of the best ways to be a good parent is by simply being there for your children. We have somehow bought into the idea that our children demand more “things” from us, but what they really need from us is our time! Someone once said, “Children spell love as t-i-m-e.

There is not much that we can do to change the pace of our lives, but what if we could use the time that we have more wisely? What are some practical things that we could do to make the best of our time with our children?

Here are some practical ideas to get you started:

1. Be home when you’re at home

When you are home with your family intentionally spend time with them and avoid multi-tasking with family and work.

2. Put your iphone or Blackberry on silent or leave it in your home office

As adults I think that we are too connected to our offices. My wife reminds me that a ringing phone is only an invitation! We don’t have to answer it every time that it rings.

3. Cut off the television and play a game with your children

The television has become the family babysitter of choice. The television is cheap and is always available.

4. Force yourself to keep eye contact with your spouse or children

When someone in your family is talking to you put down the newspaper, laptop or ipad and focus on what they are saying.

5. Have a family night every week

My family and I try to take every Thursday night as a family night. We eat dinner together as a family and we participate in an activity together. It could mean watching a DVD movie, playing a game, riding bikes together or anything that your family enjoys doing. If you can’t do it every week then start having one a month. Just start somewhere!

6. Take your children on “dates”

I have two girls at home and I try to take them on “Daddy Dates.” I might take one for breakfast and the other to get an ice cream cone. They don’t seem to care what we do as long as we are together. On these dates I get to spend some one-on-one time with them and I get to focus my attention on them. The good thing about these dates is that I get to teach my children what a “good” date looks like before they start dating. I don’t leave dating for chance!

7. Write them personal notes

Handwrite a little note and tell your spouse or child how much you love and appreciate them. Everyone likes to be encouraged and told how special they are. (This is free too!)

8. Buy them a small gift

You would be surprised what you can get for a dollar at the dollar store. Children enjoy small gifts and it really is the thought that counts!

9. Go dark on the weekends

Try going a whole weekend without getting on your laptop or checking your email. You will be surprised as to how much time you have.

10. Start making new family traditions

Try “Pancake Saturday”, “Movie Friday”, “Sunday Brunch”, or anything else that you would like to start. The reason that you remember family traditions is because they made good memories for you.

Remember, you don’t always have to spend money to make a memory! Many of the ideas on this list cost little to no money at all. Again, the whole point is that you find creative ways to spend quality time with your family.

What other ideas can you add to this list?

Eric Speir is a pastor, life coach, educator and blogger. He is passionate about leadership, coaching and writing. He likes to use biblical principles, coaching, practical wisdom and encouragement to help others to thrive in every area of their life. You can read more of his posts at www.ericspeir.com.